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And I would be perfectly content being Soul-less for the rest of my car column-writing life.

Those are conclusions drawn after spending a week that seemed much longer driving Kia´s Soul.

Maybe I wouldn´t feel that way if I were one of those 18-to-35-year-olds Kia has targeted as potential Soul mates.

Unfortunately for Kia -- and me -- I´m more likely to be found swigging from a bottle of Geritol than a can of Monster Energy drink.

While time may not have passed me by, it´s definitely working hard to get around me. For my generation, cougars are creatures you avoid in the wilderness, not women you troll for at nightclubs.

So who am I to judge Kia´s Soul, a 2010 model offered in four trim levels that had to be conceived by a young marketing maven fresh off a Red Bull intravenous drip? In addition to the obligatory and conventional Base and Sport models, buyers can opt for the "+" and "!" versions.

The translation -- for those of you who wonder how you can "text" on a cell phone if the keypad doesn´t have a "home row" -- is "Plus" and "Exclaim," respectively. It would have been more respectful to those of us who use bifocals to skip the hieroglyphics and just spell it out in the first place.

But, again, it´s only fair to keep reminding myself -- and you -- that the Soul wasn´t created for heartless, old auto-writers like me. It is aimed at young, hip consumers who have more flair than money.

That´s why the vehicle´s starting price is under $14,000, delivered. And why even a top-of-the-line Sport model like the one I tested can be had for around $17,700.

Even the least expensive Soul comes stuffed with goodies. These include anti-lock brakes with electronic brake force distribution, traction control and anti-skid system, rear windshield washer, air conditioning, power windows and door locks, an AM/FM/CD player with auxiliary inputs and MP3 capability, tilt steering wheel and 60/40 split folding rear seatbacks.

Heck, the Soul even comes with a five-star NHTSA safety rating, thanks in part to its active head restraints and six airbags.

That might be a deal-maker for parents footing the bill or helping finance a Soul for their kids. But more likely to appeal to those kids is the Soul´s funky (substitute "rad," "cool," or "phat," depending on your age) styling and its ability to tote you and four of your best friends (substitute "pals," "mates," or "buds," depending on your age) cheaply and with relative ease.

Leg- and hip-room in the Soul are surprisingly good given its relatively diminutive -- it´s only around 13-feet from tip-to-tail -- overall dimensions. Headroom also is very impressive, but that might be expected given Soul´s boxy shape.

It´s more shapely and less boxy to these tired eyes than competitors such as the Scion xB and Nissan Cube. Not everyone seemed to agree. A middle-aged neighbor called it ugly. My nine-year-old sneered and snidely asked "What´s that?"

But the college kid working as a parking attendant couldn´t wait to look inside. "I heard about these checkered (actually, houndstooth) seats," he said, running a hand over the red and black cushions. "Everyone thinks they´re the coolest thing."

I couldn´t wait to show him the speakers on the Kia Soul Sport I was testing. That model comes with a 315-watt sound system equipped with a subwoofer, dash-mounted tweeters, and six speakers with integrated LEDs. The lights on the glowing speakers can be controlled and synced to the music through a dashboard-mounted switch.

The parking valet loved it. I have to admit getting a kick out of it too, although the only other time speakers lit up on me was while playing the Who´s "Won´t Get Fooled Again" a little too loudly on a pair of $50 speakers whose cabinets were nearly the size of the Soul.

That happened while I was in college, which was so long ago I can hardly remember how to get to the school let alone what I studied.

If I ever managed to find my way back there in a Soul, it would be a pretty affordable trip. Like most little buggies, the Soul gets good fuel economy: 26 city and 31 highway mpg when equipped with the base model´s 122-horsepower, 1.6-liter engine and five-speed manual transmission.

The 2.0-liter engine found in other Soul models is a bit thirstier. But even penny-pinching college students are unlikely to complain about its 24 city/30 highway EPA mileage rating. I averaged nearly 29 mpg on a 1,000-mile roundtrip of mostly highway driving.

I might have fared better if I didn´t spend what seemed like half the trip downshifting and mashing the throttle trying to muster enough thrust to pass 18-wheelers. Despite the Soul´s light weight of 2,800 pounds, the 142-horsepower engine in my test car felt like it was working hard whenever pushed past 3,000 rpm.

Not so around town, where the revs rarely strayed above that mark for long and the Soul seems zippy. It´s also extremely maneuverable, making it easy to park and fun to dart in and out of traffic.

It can be comfortable, too, if the roads are in good shape. Unfortunately, that´s not usually the case in the Northeast, particularly on our patched and pock-marked urban streets. On the roughest of those roads, the Soul Sport´s taut suspension, short wheelbase and low-profile tires (225/45R18) can deliver a ride as jarring as a 50 Cent or Dr. Dre rap.

That probably won´t bother the more supple skeletal systems of the Soul´s target consumer as much as it did mine. They´ll probably be too busy grooving to the Kia´s light show and bragging about how much car they got for their money to notice the things that bother crotchety old auto writers like this one.

Scott Wasser is executive editor of MaineToday Media. He writes a weekly auto column for the Sunday Telegram and other newspapers. He can be reached at

swasser@pressherald.com

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